Pursuit of Illusiveness
by femegade
Summary: Following the destruction of the Collector base, Shepard renounces the Alliance and continues working for Cerberus. However, her purpose was never to simply join their ranks, but to lead them. Will her ambitions aid her rise to power, or will they be her downfall?
1. Chapter 1

**A little side-project I had to start for fun (like I need another right?). It will likely be shorter than my usual and will be released fairly slow since I have other stories to finish, however I'm impatient and wanted to put it out there.**

**The beginning of the story takes place between ME2 and ME3. Renegade Shepard continues to work for Cerberus rather than turning herself in to the Alliance, after ME2. Rated M for drug use, language, and sexual situations (possibly more explicit later).**

* * *

The Illusive Man, seated in his usual dimly-lit room, watched cautiously as she approached. The way she moved clearly gave away the fact that she was a professional solider to the core. But he didn't need to see the way she held herself that she was the type who got things done no matter the cost. He'd experienced it first-hand since Project Lazarus had resurrected her and she began working to defeat the Collectors. But despite the things she had done for Cerberus and humanity, he didn't fully trust her yet. She was quick, cunning, fearless, and should in no way be taken lightly. Leaning a bit in his chair, he took a small sip from is glass before addressing her. "Shepard. It's good you're here."

The corners of her mouth turned upwards in mock-amusement. "Expecting me, were you?" she said in a playful voice, sweeping a hand lightly over his shoulder as she passed to stand behind him.

He didn't react; never did. She was very difficult to read and he couldn't be certain if she was genuine in her apparent interest, or merely playing him. He most certainly didn't want to give her the satisfaction of the latter. "I have a job for you Shepard. One that I think you would find quite a challenge."

"A challenge, hmm?" she asked, curiosity piqued.

"I need you to head to Omega. I have a small transport ship that will take you in unnoticed."

"Omega?" She made a face, but one she was certain to not let him see. "That rat hole? Why?"

"Because that 'rat hole' is nearly under our full control. We just have one problem that won't… _disappear_."

"Let me guess… Aria."

"Precisely."

"You're expecting me to kill her?"

"Not exactly," he replied. Taking a long drag from his cigarette, he exhaled a sizable puff of smoke before continuing. "I think she'll serve us much better as an example of defeat. And that's where you come in. I need you to show Miss T'Loak exactly what she's up against."

"'What she's up against', huh? You mean me? Or Cerberus?"

"Both. If she knows that you've joined Cerberus for good, it may thwart her attempts to retake Omega, for now." He flicked some of the ashes from his cigarette into the small tray on his armrest. His hand froze when he felt her chilly fingers press up into his hair, twisting gently around the short silvery locks.

"You actually think Commander Shepard working among the ranks of Cerberus is enough to intimidate Aria T'Loak?"

"If we're lucky, yes," he replied, taking another sip from his glass in a forced attempt to relax.

"You've come to rely on me a great deal," she purred. "When are we going to take this partnership a step further?"

"What did you have in mind?" he asked.

"Cerberus's continuing expansion will soon be difficult for one man to manage. I could be your right-hand. Give out your orders. Do the dirty work that you don't have time for." Moving her hands through his soft hair, she could almost feel him shudder beneath her touch. "I have _many_ skills that are currently underutilized," she hummed, an unseen grin crossing over her shadowed features.

"While your dedication to humanity is without question, your loyalty to Cerberus is not," he replied, only seemingly unphased by her suggestive tone.

Her eyes narrowed and it took much of her waning self-control to keep herself from ending the Illusive Man's reign right now. But she could be patient. She had to be. "Then I suppose I'll have to work harder at proving my loyalties," she replied in a calm, even voice. Removing her hand from his silver hair, she took her leave without another word.

* * *

A shiver trickled down her spine as she inhaled the line of red dust that powdered the glass surface. The surge of biotic power that flowed through her was more intense than the feeling of euphoria the drug provided. However, she could already tell it wasn't enough to give her the biotic edge she would need when facing Aria. She was about to breathe in another line of red sand when she felt a sharp edge press tightly against her throat.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" a cold voice rasped in her ear.

Shepard stiffened with the awareness of cold metal against her flesh. "What do you care?" she huffed.

When the blade left, the sweep of a hand across the back of her neck and to her nearly-bare shoulder sent goose bumps over her increasingly sensitive skin. The sudden sensation of warm breath and soft lips against her ear drew a breathy gasp from her. "I doubt the Illusive Man would approve if I sat back and allowed you to dust yourself to death."

Smirking, she shrugged him away coldly. "Anyone ever tell you how unhealthy your obsession with pleasing him really is, Leng?"

Sheathing his weapon, he stealthily skirted around the black leather loveseat to meet her face-to-face. "Is it?" he asked evenly. "Then why did you stay with Cerberus to serve under the Illusive Man? Why are you not with your Alliance, or your precious team?"

Her dark eyes stared back at him chillingly. The hollow expression plastered on her face held no inkling of emotion as her hand idly found its way to him and began to stroke down the length of his side. He continued to kneel before her, frozen, his features deceptively hidden behind his visor. He didn't trust her, not for a moment, but his curiosity held him in place.

"You should know why I stayed, Leng," she murmured, a seductive twist in her voice.

Her hand nudged against the slight bulge in his leathers. Though the act was enough to distract him for only the briefest moment, it was a moment too long. Before realization had the chance to hit him, his blade had already been lifted from its strap. A cruel grin flashed over her face a fraction of a second before she tackled him. His back hit the floor with a forceful grunt and the sharp blade's edge pressed dangerously against the vulnerable exposed skin of his neck.

Hovering above him, she lowered her face toward his, her lips turned up in that same patronizing grin she'd often given him. "I'm here because I _want_ to be. Because Cerberus _needs _Commander Shepard." Her words were cold, seemingly boastful, but they held truth. _She_ gave them Reaper tech. _She_ gave them Legion. And _she_ was the reason Cerberus obtained a sizable number of new recruits as of late. But Leng… he refused to give her any credit and would never admit that she was better than he. But, eventually he too would have to make a choice. It was only a matter of time.

"You overrate yourself, Shepard," he snarled through clenched teeth.

She laughed softly, tossing the blade away and pushing herself back onto her feet. She stared down at him, her eyes gleaming with amusement. "Maybe," she responded with a shrug. She wasn't crazy enough to be blinded to the truth in his words. However, if she wasn't overestimating herself, then this stepping stone to her higher goal would soon be accomplished. On the other hand, if Leng was right… Well, let's just hope he's not.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter contains strong sexual content - you've been warned.**

* * *

Shepard's biotics flared up in her left hand, hand cannon in her right as she stormed into the room that held Aria T'Loak and her companion. They were all that was left of Aria's guerilla attack on Omega and the only things that stood between Cerberus and its complete rule over the old mining station. The asari's eyes narrowed at the woman as she approached, her body filling with hatred and the desire to rip her to shreds.

"Shepard," she hissed, venom dripping from her voice.

"Aria," Shepard greeted in return, a pleasant smile on her face. "What a pleasant surprise." The barrel of her gun never left from the invisible target between the asari's eyes.

"Fuck you, Shepard. I _am_ Omega. Cerberus doesn't belong here."

The corner of Shepard's lips lifted slightly higher in a belittling smirk. "You _were_ Omega, my dear pirate queen. Though now it seems that Cerberus has bested you."

"I'll kill you!" Aria growled, her biotics flaring up with her rage.

Shepard's small, gloved hand fit snugly around the asari's slender neck, forcing her back against the wall with a grunt. The purple-blue strands of biotic glow snaked around Aria's body, paralyzing her struggles. As the ex-marine leaned in close, her lips brushed delicately against the other woman's ear.

"I'd like to propose a deal," she murmured, her volume well above a whisper and loud enough for everyone in the room to hear. Surprisingly enough, Aria held her tongue as if willing to listen. Smiling to herself, she continued. "You'll have your Omega. But you'll need to trust me."

"Trust you?" Aria spat. "Why would I do that?"

"Because you have no other choice," Shepard purred. "You fight me, you die here, end of your story. Omega will be just another mark on Cerberus's facility map. However, I can offer you much, much more."

"Go on," the power-hungry woman in her urged.

"You will leave Omega today and begin assembling an alliance between the merc groups who were forced out by Cerberus. Let me utilize their forces when I am in need of them. And you'll have your Omega. Ally with me, and Aria T'Loak will be stronger than ever before."

"Why would _you_ need an army of mercs?"

A small smile crossed over her lips. "While I have my supporters within Cerberus, I am not without opposition. And with the army the Illusive Man is _creating_, we'll need the extra forces."

Aria smiled back, the look in her eyes showed sparked interest. "You're going to take over Cerberus…"

"A profit to us both, I'm sure," Shepard hummed.

The pirate queen studied her for a few moments, obviously deciding whether or not the woman could be trusted. "Deal," she finally said after coming to a conclusion.

"Good. Now…, I'm going to kill your friend and you're going to leave Omega without a mention of this to anyone."

"What about them?" she asked, curling her lip at the two Cerberus soldiers standing erect against the far wall.

"Don't you worry about them," she assured the asari. "They're mine. And they're well-trained."

Aria's gaze met her partner's for only a brief moment before giving Shepard the go-ahead. Grinning, Shepard raised her gun point at the man, turning her attention just in time to see his eyes widen in fear. One pull of the trigger and he slumped to the floor in a growing pool of red. Satisfied that the one outside witness to their agreement had been taken care of, the biotic tendrils that had woven their way around the asari retreated.

Once released, Aria stared directly into Shepard's dark eyes. "You'd better follow through with our agreement," she warned.

"Aria… When have you ever known me to skimp out on an arrangement?" she said with feigned disappointment.

The corner of the asari's glossy lips turned upward in a smirk. "You'll get your army," she said as she strutted from the room.

"That went well," Lyette said plainly, staring down at the man's still-warm body.

"Aria's not stupid. She knows when there's a good deal presented to her."

"The Illusive Man will be overjoyed to receive your report, I'm sure," Jared said with a knowing grin.

"Indeed," Shepard replied, allowing the amusement to show in her voice.

"How are you feeling, mam? Lyette interrupted in an attempt to redirect the other woman's attentions to herself.

"I'm fine for now Lyette, thank you," Shepard replied, finally realizing her biotics had been flaring up uncontrollably. The only real downfall to taking the specially-made red sand was coming off the biotic high, especially when she didn't use them enough to exhaust herself. "We should head back to HQ to report." In truth, she could care less about giving the Illusive Man a prompt report. She was interested more in relieving her pent-up energy.

* * *

Kai Leng clenched his teeth as the woman's biotics burned into his naked back. But the pain only increased the force of his thrusts as he sought further pleasure by burying himself deep within her. Her thighs constricted around him, urging him on. Shepard liked it rough when coming off of a drug-infused biotic high. And despite their constant rivalry, this was one thing he didn't mind helping her with. He knew she hated it as much as she loved it, which made it all the more enjoyable. She hated how good he made her feel, and loathed admitting it even more. But every time she needed to release the tension, she quickly sought him out.

Another burn, more intense than the last, caused him to grunt in pain. He roughly grabbed at her wrists, pinning them above her head. They glowed brightly, seeking to harm. "If you don't stop that you'll regret it," he snarled, his face hovering very close to hers.

She grinned up at him. "What? I thought that was your thing?"

"To a point. But you're getting carried away."

"Shut up and fuck me," she growled, narrowing her eyes.

He despised when she gave him orders, even if it _was _in the bedroom. However, payback was always a bitch. Keeping her arms secured tightly above her head, he crushed his lips against hers, trying to keep from smirking when she released a grunt of angry protest. Kissing was the one thing she tried to avoid doing in the bedroom. If he were to guess, he would say it was one thing from which she wasn't able to desensitize herself. He found the weakness amusing and took pleasure in exploiting it when she was most vulnerable. Despite her struggles to buck him off, he bore down on her, the weight of his dense muscle too much to thwart in this position. He shoved his tongue into her mouth, risking the possibility that she may bite down in her fury. The taste of her and the danger he sought between her teeth drove him wild, which was made obvious by the increased velocity of his thrusts.

When he was certain she wasn't going to fight him anymore, he hoisted her legs over his shoulders and drove himself in deeper. The increased tightness brought him ever closer to his peak. It wasn't until he felt her constrict around him in her own release, that he lost all control. Removing his mouth from hers – while being certain to take note of her whimper of protest – he clenched his teeth, reaching his peak and allowing himself to spill into her.

Chest heaving from exertion, he rested atop her. "Don't think that you can give me orders, Shepard," he warned lightly nipping at her jawline. "Don't let it happen again."

"You didn't give me much reason not to."

"I didn't?" he sneered, wiping his saliva from her mouth with his thumb.

"Fuck off," she muttered, too spent to do anything other than throw the profanity at him.


	3. Chapter 3

Horizon - Sanctuary… This place gave her the creeps. She knew what went down here since she'd last landed. All those people – refugees ripped from their safe haven to become pawns for The Illusive Man's army of husks. Though she didn't condone it, she didn't have the power to say otherwise. To him, they were a necessary sacrifice for the greater good.

She continued to scan over the pods that had once entrapped thousands of innocent refugees, her mind churning over hundreds of disturbing thoughts. Lost in her thoughts, she failed to notice as her foot became entangled in a loose tube, causing her to lose her balance. Her boot clapped against the floor in an effort to steady herself, the sound echoing throughout the large room.

"Keep close and stay silent!" Kai snapped in a whispered voice. "I don't need you giving away our presence to Lawson."

Gritting her teeth, she resisted the urge to utter a biting remark and continued on. He was right though. They were here to extract the research data from Henry Lawson and get out. Miranda's unwelcome presence here was going to make their task more difficult, especially for Shepard. As a member of her previous team, she'd hate to be faced with possibly needing to dispose of the ex-Cerberus operative. Before they headed on to the next room, she took notice of Kai Leng's avoidance of the main door. His detour led him to a vent entrance in the ceiling. After displacing the grate, he ushered her ahead of him.

Hoisting herself up into the cramped vent she crawled forward on hands and knees as Kai followed after. The enclosed space was hot and stuffy, not to mention she wasn't able to see the man that shadowed her. She still didn't trust him and thoughts of being led into a trap lingered in her mind.

"How's the view from back there?" she mused in an attempt to ease her paranoia. His lack of remark didn't help.

"Here," he whispered flatly when they'd reached the first grate.

Holding her breath she silently shifted the metal plating to open the path downward. After hearing a scuffle from below, she remained silent and still. A few moments later footsteps could be heard, approaching quickly yet cautiously. She instantly recognized the _"clack"_ of high-heeled boots. _Miranda_.

"Ah, Miranda," a man's voice said from below. "Finally come to visit your father?"

"Let Oriana go," the woman demanded. _Oriana._ Shepard knew that name. The girl they rescued on Illium - Miranda's sister. Just when she'd hoped for no confrontations she smacks face-first into the Lawson family reunion.

Miranda's father scoffed audibly. "Why? So you can continue to poison her with your lies?" She could hear the _"click"_ of a gun echo from below and she couldn't discern if it came from Henry or Miranda.

That's when another voice - one that she hadn't been expecting - spoke up. "Put down the gun. Now." _Kaidan. _Her heart pounded in her chest._ What in the hell was he doing here?_ Listening intently, she attempted to gage the situation and anticipate her next move.

"And let Miranda's influence continue to poison her? Not a chance," Henry spat.

"How else do you plan to get out of here, Pendejo?" A different voice. Another man with a slight accent – and presumably one of Kaidan's squad mates.

There was a hesitated silence before Henry Lawson spoke again. "Fine, take her," he muttered in a somewhat defeated tone. Oriana came into Shepard's view as she was shoved to the floor by her captor. She quickly ducked away into the shadows in case the girl happened to look up. "But I want out alive. Deal?"

He was trying to bargain his way out of this with the wrong person. Shepard knew Miranda had a deep-rooted hatred for her father and would never consider giving him more chances. Then, almost on queue, there was a crash of shattering glass. "No deal," Miranda hissed.

That almost confirmed Shepard's prediction and, if Henry Lawson was dead, that was one less obstacle to getting that research data. However, that was only one of at least five still alive. Now, they would need to be certain they get what they came for before Kaidan did. She felt a slight nudge on her rear, urging her to make her move now. Hopefully the element of surprise would be enough of a distraction to the group below. Dropping down into the room, it wasn't long before all remaining eyes were on her, the expressions varied. It was Kaidan's she couldn't help but notice the most, however, as his brown eyes widened in disbelief and then betrayal. Through his glare, there was something soft behind his expression, something she hadn't seen for a long time.

"Shepard?" Miranda whispered, grasping Shepard's attention from her old lover's scrutinizing gaze.

"Hey there Miranda," she said with a smile. The smile remained solidly in place when she returned her attention toward the major. "Kaidan. What are you doing here?"

"Hackett sent me in to investigate some strange activity. Turns out Henry Lawson was turning refugees into husks and shipping them off to Cerberus," he replied in a disgusted tone. "You know about this?"

"Why would _I_ know about it?" Shepard questioned with a dismissive shrug.

"You're with Cerberus, right?" Kaidan accused. "I mean, you did leave the Alliance for them."

"So the rumors are true?" Miranda asked, not bothering to hide her anger and disappointment.

At that moment, Kai Leng dropped down from the vent and all guns were raised. Slightly irritated that the situation was getting progressively more complicated, Shepard rolled her eyes and grabbed the nearest and least armed target, Oriana. Arm wrapped around her neck in a choke-hold, she held her gun to the frightened girl's temple and watched as Miranda's expression faded from anger to horror.

Only Shepard knew she had no intentions of shooting the girl, but they needed to get that data. And if acquiring a hostage was the quickest means of doing so… Well, so be it. "We just want Lawson's research. Don't interfere and nobody gets hurt." From the corner of her vision she could see Kai Leng already beginning the extraction process from a nearby terminal.

"Shepard…" Kaidan said softly. "Do you have any idea what Cerberus has been doing to these civilians?"

Though she wasn't sure of _everything_ Cerberus had been doing to civilians, she knew enough. Despite the sick feeling it gave her in the pit of her stomach, she knew now was not the time to dwell on such things. There was a means to an end, and it just so happens that this means was less than pleasant. Her gaze flicked quickly to Leng who was still working on the data.

"Shepard?" Kaidan said her name again, trying desperately hard to hold her attention. "Did you forget all you stood for? All _we_ stood for?"

Her dark eyes narrowed in response, totally aware of his attempt to use her own emotions against her; to use what they once had against her. But she wasn't like him, not anymore. While, like him, she had dedicated most her life to the Alliance, opportunity had taken a different turn when she died nearly three years ago. The possibilities Cerberus presented to her were much more of an asset against the Reapers.

"You said it yourself, the last time we met on Horizon. I've changed," she hissed.

"I never really meant that, Shepard. You're still the same woman I remember, and I _know_ you won't shoot that girl."

Bastard knew her all too well. Too bad he'd doubted her when it would've meant the most. She pressed the nozzle tighter to the girl's temple in warning, daring him to challenge her further. "Leng you done yet?"

"Got it," he finally replied, appearing behind her.

_Good_, she thought. _I've had enough of this planet_. Shoving captive girl towards her sister, she was on Kaidan before he could even counteract. But rather than putting a knife through his gut – which he was no doubt expecting – her mouth invaded his with a fury reminiscent of their first sexual encounter on the Normandy. Oh how she missed the intimate contact they'd shared; it was clear the major had as well. There was a hunger in his return kiss that nearly made her falter. But she couldn't forget about the main goal.

When their lips finally parted she used the combination of surprise and lingering desire to make her escape back through the vents. And as she crawled her way back through the darkened passageway, not far behind Kai Leng, she couldn't help but think about those soft brown eyes and the pained expression she'd left in her wake.

* * *

Shepard and Kai Leng flew in silence for nearly an hour. The whole mission had been eating away at her since they'd left Horizon. She knew there was something Leng wasn't telling her.

"You knew Kaidan would be snooping around Sanctuary, didn't you?" she blurted, breaking through the quiet.

"Yes." His response was simple, but it spoke volumes.

Her heart pounded in her chest as she tried to repress the anger it sparked. "Is that why you brought me on this mission? To fuck with me?"

"It was The Illusive Man's orders and a test of your loyalty," he explained levelly, rising from the pilot's chair to face her. "He wanted to see if you could confront your old life and still return to Cerberus. Though… I would have liked to see you kill them."

She laughed dismissively. "Yeah well, thankfully Kaidan's a softie and lets his emotions cloud his immediate judgment. Not like you, whose emotions are as hard as..." she glanced at his midsection, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

"Next time it would be in your best interest to just eliminate him," he stated, ignoring her remark.

"You want him dead? Do it yourself," she bit out. She didn't need another demon on her shoulder to tell her who she should and should not kill. The Illusive Man filled that role well enough.

Shepard didn't even know he had moved towards her until his fingers wrapped around her throat and squeezed. "Fine," he sneered. "I'll kill your major. And you will watch as he bleeds. Just know that as he draws his last breath, the hatred in his eyes won't be for _me._"

His statement struck her like a slap to the face. The glow of biotics flared up in her hand but he was too quick. Pinning her back against the bulkhead, Kai chuckled scornfully.

He begrudgingly recalled the way she had kissed the major with barely a second thought. Kai loathed to believe that it was only him she denied such a thing. The thought both irked him and ignited a desire to turn their continued little game into something more… thrilling.

As his lips attacked hers with unsated desire, her body trembled, though she was unable to tell if it was caused by pleasure or anger. Different from his usual, spiteful invasions of her mouth, this time it was soft; aching in a way she'd never experienced with this cold-hearted killer. She wasn't sure what had brought on this sudden intimate act, nor was she completely certain she wanted him to stop. Typically, she liked to keep things with Leng purely physical or professional - depending on the situation – but never sensual in such a way that would spark _any_ type of emotional bond. His change in demeanor was frightening, stimulating, and instilled a curiosity she was tempted to further explore. When his mouth parted from hers she felt slightly annoyed that he dare stop what he'd started.

"You still have feelings for that Alliance coward," he stated flatly. And to his surprise, she didn't deny it.

"Old habits die hard," was her response, followed by a slight shrug of her shoulders.

Pressing her body against the bulkhead with his own, he could feel her curves through their suits. "But they do die," he murmured, quickly locating the zips of her armored leathers.

"So will this," she said all too seriously as he easily relieved her of her constricting suit.

To his satisfaction, Kai found she was already wet and ready for him. An involuntary grunt escaped him as he wasted no time in sheathing himself within her warmth. "I wouldn't count on it," he growled against her ear.


	4. Chapter 4

Shepard stretched her legs until she heard the satisfying "pop" of her joints. Idly wiping the sleep from her eyes, she glanced over at the clock. 6:39am… Though it wasn't late in the morning her years of military service had her trained that anything after 5:30 was _too late_. She was just about to drag herself out of bed when she heard Kai Leng's voice call from the doorway.

"About time you're up."

"Fuck off," she groaned, shoving a pillow over her face. Though the obstruction made the air hot and stifling, at least it might do to get her point across.

"The Illusive Man wants to see you," Leng muttered irritably.

"Of course he does," she hissed through her teeth. "Why else would his dog be nudging me out of bed?"

She didn't even have to remove the pillow from her face to know he was grimacing, and frankly, she didn't care. After sensing he had finally left, she hopped out of bed, quickly dressed, and took a quick dose of red sand. Though not completely necessary, the red sand helped take the edge off when meeting with The Illusive Man. He had his ways of getting under your skin.

* * *

As she entered the dim room, faintly lit by terminal holos and the red-hued glow of the system's star, he'd noticed her presence immediately.

"Shepard," he greeted her in his usual pleasant manner, of which she could never really decipher was genuine or not.

"Kai Leng said you sent for me," she said in the most mono-toned voice she could muster.

"Ah, yes… Kai Leng," he said, giving her a rather knowing look. He took a drag on his cigarette, only looking away from her to tap the ashes gingerly into his waiting tray. "I hear you two have been getting along quite well."

Clearing her throat, she straightened her stance. _Calm down, Shepard. Now's not the time to get defensive._ "I wouldn't say that," she replied evenly.

"Then the rumors are false?" He tilted his head, examining her curiously. The silver strands in his hair caught in the dim light, providing a shimmery pinkish illusion.

"What rumors would they be, sir?" She knew her occasional use of "sir" did well to stroke his ego. Sometimes it seemed to play in her favor.

"You two are intimate, are you not?" he asked, eyebrow lifting curiously.

It had taken all her years of training to maintain her stonewalled expression. "My… _relationship_ with Kai Leng is nothing more than necessity." Easy enough; there were no falsities in that admission. She slept with him to quell her biotic highs, when the red sand drove her into overload, and that was all. The last time had been merely to take out her frustrations at seeing Kaidan again, but cases like that would not become habitual.

The man smiled broadly at her response, the action taking on a slightly flirtatious air. "That's what I like to hear."

Her dark eyes narrowed warily. "Is this why you called me here?"

"Not at all, Shepard," he said, shifting in his chair, his gaze still lingering on her. "I just like to know my operatives… a little better." He casually flicked more ashes into his tray.

"Is that so?" She was both surprised and curious. He'd never seemed to cave to her suggestive actions before, so why the change? Could it be she was successfully building his trust? If she continued to play her cards right, this could possibly make a positive turn in her direction. _That_ she could use. "I can think of other ways that don't involve_ talking_," she purred, baiting him.

He allowed himself a smile, clearly amused that he'd gotten the desired reaction from her. "There will be plenty of time for that later. First we must get down to business."

"What did you have in mind?"

He promptly pulled up and image of a station on his terminal. Though she felt recognized the place, she couldn't place a name on it. "Doesn't ring a bell."

"Grissom Academy. A group of our finest… _troopers_ took it just a few days ago."

She knew what he meant by "_troopers_" and it sent a chill down her spine. Volunteers genetically enhanced – or mutated – by Reaper tech. Seems he had been utilizing them quite a bit as of late. "And… What does this have to do with me?"

"The academy _was"_ – he enunciated the word clearly – "a school for biotics… There were many bright students there."

"Not anymore, I assume?"

"Some were lost in the fight to take the station, but plenty others were escorted back to Cerberus, including an instructor you may know…" The look he gave her was mischievous, to say the least.

"Who?" She knew a lot of people, but she wasn't aware of any associated with his particular school.

"We know her as Subject Zero. You may know her as _Jack_." The image on the terminal changed to one of her ex-squad mate. The familiar pretty face stared back at her hauntingly. She hadn't seen Jack since after the Collector base. She, and the rest of the team, parted ways afterwards and it was likely most of them didn't know Shepard still took orders from Cerberus.

"Jack?" Shepard swallowed hard. "You managed to capture her alive?"

"We lost a few of our own in the struggle. But I would say the outcome was quite worth it."

Shepard tried hard to keep her knees from shaking. She'd always liked Jack, and she'd be lying if she said they didn't share some moments here and there. Jack approved of the way Shepard did business and the two had developed quite the interesting bond that had involved drinking, harassing the local cheerleader, and casual sex.

"What are you going to do with her?" she asked, displaying as little emotion as possible.

"Subject Zero is a perfect candidate for the Nemesis. Her biotic skills are more than exceptional."

Shepard laughed, more out of irony than actual humor. "Jack won't join Cerberus. They – we," she corrected, "made her what she is and she hates us for it."

"I don't think it'll be a problem once the processing is complete," he stated with a grin.

"What do you mean, 'processing'?" The word made her spine prickle disturbingly.

"Do you know why the Nemesis are so effective in what they do, Shepard?" When she remained silent he continued. "It's because we've cut their ties with their past lives. Gone is what made them what they _were_. And what they _are_… Well, you've seen what they can do."

"You wipe their memories?" Though her voice was steady, her toes curled in her boots. His nod confirmed her suspicions that his man didn't care about preserving human life. He wanted to control it. Sacrifices had to be made, sure. But wasn't this going a bit far?

"Why not let me talk to Jack? See if I can convince her to join Cerberus willingly?" She suggested. There's no way it would work. Jack was stubborn, and already had a deep-rooted hatred for Cerberus. Depending on what went on at Grissom, her odds may have just hit the level of impossible. But she had to try.

"And how will we benefit from that?" he inquired, turning his head curiously before taking a sip of scotch.

"I _know_ Jack. Her biotics are intensified by the fact she's always pissed off. You take that away and she won't be utilizing her full potential." Shepard hoped she sounded convincing. The idea of Jack's mind being wiped bothered her more than she would have thought. Unfortunately, she did always have a soft spot for her team.

"You can go ahead and try. However, if you fail, we'll be left with no other choice."

"Deal."

* * *

The Nemesis Processing facility was just as creepy as Shepard had imagined it. Many solid, small windowed doors – archaic in their technology, or lack thereof – lined the near-empty passageways of the facility. It was eerily quiet; the only sound was the echo of her heavy booted footfalls coupled with those of her escort.

Her eyes quickly examined the man that led her through the facility. His long, dark blonde hair was pulled tightly back in a rubber band. His nose, faintly crooked, stuck out from his face like it didn't quite belong. From the look she had seen in his leering blue eyes, she wouldn't doubt he sometimes had his way with some of the _patients_ here.

"She's in here," he said finally, stopping at a door halfway down the hall. When he made to follow her in he was met with a strong glare.

"Stay," she ordered.

The man nodded, indicating for her to proceed on ahead. The fact that he hadn't argued meant he was clearly made aware that she reported directly to The Illusive Man.

When she entered the mid-sized room, she was immediately greeted by the sight of Jack, strapped to an examination chair and apparently sedated. Leaning over her Shepard could tell her friend had changed slightly since she'd last saw her. Her hair, grown out into some type of mohawk style, was tied back. The new style complimented the tattoos on her scalp while making her appear a bit more feminine. Her clothes were slightly less revealing, but still maintained Jack's iconic grunge look.

As if sensing a presence above her, the woman's heavily lined eyelids opened, revealing the dark brown of her irises. "Shepard?" she asked seeking strength in her raw voice.

"I'm here, Jack."

A weak but genuine smile crept over the woman's deep red lips. "Bitch. It's about time you showed up."

"Yeah…"

She shook her head, trying to knock the sedation from her vision. "Where the fuck am I?"

"A Cerberus facility."

"Cerberus… Shit." Jack managed a scowl as she remembered the events leading up to her present situation. "Where are my students?"

Shepard ignored the question, clearly aware that any answer she gave would throw the other woman into a frenzy. Jack had never had a concern for anyone but herself. For her to immediately question the whereabouts of the students meant she cared for them in some way or another.

Jack tugged on the restraints that held down her wrists. "You gonna get me the fuck out of these things? We need to find them and get the hell out of here!"

"I can't do that Jack… Not yet."

"Why?" The biotic eyes widened with her answer. "What the hell's going on, Shepard?"

"Cerberus thinks you'd be a valuable asset, but only if you don't remember who you are. I didn't want them to wipe your memory so I convinced them to let me talk to you."

"You _convinced_ them?" A scowl crept over the woman's face, her features hardening by the second as she rose out from her sedated haze. She shook her head as if she didn't want to believe the dark thoughts that rushed through her mind. "No… No, you're not fucking working for them are you? Tell me you're not fucking working for _them_!"

"Jack, you need to see the bigger picture. This isn't just about Cerberus. It's about the Reapers. I can use Cerberus to destroy them."

"Nobody _uses_ Cerberus, Shepard. Not even you." She sighed, trying to calm down. "Look. You know they've been using you since they brought your ass back from the dead. You can't trust them."

"That's where you're wrong, Jack. I have plans. You can help me to achieve those plans; to achieve something greater."

"Forget it, Shep. Those bastards took everything from me once, and since that wasn't enough, they did it again." She tugged harder at her restraints, finding strength in her growing rage. "No. Fuck Cerberus. And if you're working with them, fuck you too!"

"Jack…" Shepard said softly, trying to soothe her. Her patience was waning but she needed to stay focused.

"Where are my students, Shepard?" Jack demanded, her eyes wild with desperation and fury.

"I can't help them. I'm only able to help you." It was the truth. Rescuing them would only destroy everything she'd worked so hard for. She'd gotten this far… There was no turning back. "Forget about them, Jack. They belong to Cerberus now."

"You bitch! When I get out of here I'll destroy you!" A faint light of biotic power flared over her body before fizzling out, suppressed by the biotic dampeners. It only seemed to fuel her rage even further as she screamed and tugged against the fetters that held her down. Her expression held nothing but pain, betrayal, and loathing.

Shepard closed her eyes. It was as she feared. Jack would never come to see reason in an alliance with Cerberus. Her hatred for the organization was too deep, buried into the skin like festering barbs. Her gaze suddenly shot up to the man who burst through the door. He stared at her, steeling a questioning glance at the woman raging in the chair.

"She's a lost cause… Do it," Shepard growled, waving her hand dismissively. She didn't bother turning around as she stepped out of the room. She couldn't trust herself to leave without Jack if she did. Still hearing the other woman's shouts of rage echoing in her skull, she leaned against the hallway wall, sliding down until butt hit the cold floor. It wasn't long until the new sedatives kicked in and the shouts died down. Unfortunately, the sensation of needing to vomit did not.

* * *

**My aim is to keep this renegade Shep from being a complete asshole, therefore maintaining some likeability. Hopefully I'm doing a decent job with that!**

**Don't forget to review! I value your feedback :)**


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